I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
