So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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