i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I can't put those talents on a resume
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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