As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
