just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
