he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
