Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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