apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
