you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
you never un-have a 4some
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
