can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
