I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
