So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
