I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
