Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
