I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
