And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
