addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
