Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
