Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
