dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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