she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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