Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
