We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i think i just lost a toe
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
