he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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