let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
