would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
