Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
