He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
