she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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