Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
