He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
