You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
