The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
