I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
