he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
3 2 1 whiskey
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
