I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
