Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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