guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
