He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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