we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
