haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
