It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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