is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
