We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
