would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
