I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
