It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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