Don't you send me to vm
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
