This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
