God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
