This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
