have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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