well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
